Damn, the time goes so fast!
As I said before I’ve been quite busy and distracted from my blog the last couple of days, but today I’m gonna update more detailed version of my current feelings:)

In a nut shell: Everything is going GREAT -which is not so surprising, since I’ve been repeating that word over and over again in this blog:D But there isn’t just any other word I could use really. I think my attitude is the biggest reason why I’ve been successful. Very many people just tend to complain a lot and see dieting as a big obstacle of constant suffering and “restricting oneself”. In reality, it’s something completely different. It opens you up to new possibilities and new point of views. It “builds your character” in a very empowering way.  Of course this is the case with every big change you make a conscious effort to accomplish. It just makes you so much richer in every aspect of your life. At first you have this knot in you stomach. You feel nervous and a bit lost – the task ahead seems so huge, complicated and hard to do. You think about it day and night and make some last preparations, and then there is nothing more to do than the actual doing. And of course, those first few days you still feel the knot in your stomach and think that “am I gonna make it?”. Due time, with doing, that question will change to a firm certainty that “Yes, I am gonna do it! Yes, everything is possible!”.
It’s hard to describe how many little things you learn each day. Because every day, before I go to bed, I always have a feeling that I’ve accomplished something new today again. That something has changed my perspective to things again.

Some can actually think that I could speak about dieting (as an example) like it’s a massive philosophical answer to everything in life. It’s a huge task and people do complain about it when undertaking it as a tasks. It’s weird to say, but in some funny way it is. If you just take away the word “dieting” and just look at the concept of what we’re doing, it pretty much is the same mental and spiritual learning experience you HAVE every day of you life. Take any great accomplishment, goal, growth or need for change and think about what it takes you to have it. Yeah, it’s about deciding and being inspired and accomplishing them all, doing it every day, making the right choices and staying on that path. But in reality, it’s most about being aware how you do it. Being inspired is nothing if you’re not aware of inspiration. Accomplishing is nearly impossible if you’re not aware how you’re going get it. “Doing it everyday” is gonna change to “I can do something else and tomorrow I’ll be back on track”-mentality very fast if you’re not aware of your though patterns. Making the right choice is pretty much impossible if you’re not aware of how you’re doing them. “Staying on the right path” is nothing but just “staying on the path” if there isn’t awareness of what’s happening around you -you’re not aware if it’s the right one or the wrong one.

A good example to this is one of my closest friends Ms. E. We met last summer and became amazing friends. Now, she’s had her fair share of struggles in life. And she’s still in the middle of some huge changes in her heart, soul and thoughts. From the MINUTE that I saw her I knew that she’s gonna be just O.K. no matter how lost she felt. Her general attitude and most of all, her awareness were just superb. And what’s even more amazing is that she, more or less, came aware “only” when she was 28 years old. Before that she had 28 years of stuffed emotions and toned down personality behind her. If you think that dieting is hard, you can only imagine how hard it can be to change life long habits, thought processes, awareness and spirituality all at the same time! Facing the difficulties of dieting is NOTHING compared to a person facing her full potential for the very first time in her life. The changes are monumental and make your entire soul tremble when you’re opening up yourself to them. But even though standing in front of them is the most scariest thing on earth, I have seen nothing but beauty and strength in her path. She has stumbled and hurt and cut herself on the way, but by god, the awareness and newly born openness of her soul is just absolutely beautiful. She has prescribed to me so many times how lost, and confused and little she feels with these changes, but when I look at her, I see just potential, amazing strength and a girl who has nothing in front of her than success. And why do I see this? Because the state of awareness what she carries with herself all the time is so powerful that it just “automatically” carries her to the right direction. Even though she doesn’t always feel this and she has days when everything feels even more confusing that it originally was, she has opened her heart to awareness, with all it’s might and with all it’s fret. When you’re in the middle of this kinda huge changes you don’t see all so clearly at all. Because of the huge emotions and choices you’re doing you can feel more lost than you were even when you begun everything. But just choosing the awareness had already put you “on the right path” with all its colors and might. The certainty of this “right path” comes very slowly and through different experiences. Because of that, she is just gonna be ok. Because she’s so aware, and she surrounds herself with people who encourage this and support her. On the good note, even though being aware is sometimes scary, I think when you first start to learn to be it, you never really can unlearn it. And it gets easier by time.

When you start to change you’re life (whether it’s dieting, job, circle of friends, school, relationships etc) it’s about being aware how you’re doing it, that matters the most. After that everything comes a long pretty automatically, even though it doesn’t always feel like it. This is at least how I, personally, experience it.

Well anyway, back to dieting ^-^ My friend, who is a professional photographer is going to take some cool pictures of me around April, after the diet is over. He’s gonna do it for free since my birthday is on April. It’s nice to have some good photos taken about the success I’ve had. I have no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t continue this diet without fail. I’m even thinking about continuing it past April if I haven’t reached my goals then yet. Keeping away from junk food etc is getting easier by the day. ooohh.. I just can’t wait how I feel in a months time from now!

PS: I read this blog again later on and realized that might have been a bit incoherent in some places:D I hope that you in some how got a hold on what I was aiming at. *scatter brain*